


lots of time

by sana_s



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-10
Updated: 2020-05-10
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:54:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24103990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sana_s/pseuds/sana_s
Summary: i have a like-hate relationship with this and i haven't been writing much, but recently someone made me feel shitty, and this was a good way to vent about it.also! yournabi, if you see this - this is thanks to you as wellthanks for being here (: i appreciate it
Relationships: Hirai Momo/Im Nayeon
Comments: 18
Kudos: 55





	lots of time

**Author's Note:**

  * For [yournabi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/yournabi/gifts).



It was the middle of the day, sun leaked into her room and spilled over her bed sheets; Momo wanted to back the glare, but couldn’t bring herself to move. She had been frozen in place the moment she laid down. 

Her phone kept ringing – it was annoying enough to give her the motivation to reach her hand out and silence it. But then it _kept_ buzzing, vibrating on the small table by her bed where her lamp was. She knew it would’ve been less annoying if she didn’t know who the caller was. 

Was it wrong for her to feel betrayed? She was logical, had always prided herself in knowing right from wrong and wise from just plain stupid. So, why did it hurt to hear that Nayeon had done something as normal as sleep with her husband? Was it because Nayeon had never acted like he was more than an old boyfriend that was too attached to her? Momo had never even seen them hold hands. 

She put a pillow over her ears in hopes of muffling the sound of her phone against the metal table. It would stop, then start back a couple seconds later, as if Nayeon was giving her time to call back in between. It made Momo angry – angrier than she should’ve been, because Nayeon shouldn’t be worried about her. Nayeon shouldn’t be going out of her way to check on her. 

Whenever she closed her eyes, she could see them – Nayeon and Geun – she could see them in their bed, with sheets tangled around their bodies and Nayeon whispering things to him, in the same way she would whisper things to her; she saw Geun’s hands tracing the smooth skin of Nayeon’s back, gliding upwards and flattening over her neck to bring her down in a kiss – her eyes always opened a second too late. 

She took her phone up again, saw Nayeon’s name and picture, before she turned it off completely. 

She made too many mistakes. All following right after the other too easily for Momo to even notice while it happened – she remembered her first thoughts upon seeing Nayeon under the rays of the sun last summer. 

Momo figured her first mistake was comparing Nayeon to angels she didn't even believe in. 

The day dragged on with her remaining in her bed. It was weird to her – how could she go from happily being alone to dreading it so much? She had gotten too used to the older girl’s presence, her second mistake no doubt. By the time Nayeon stopped calling and leaving texts, the sun was down and the window to her left had let in the pale glow of the moon. 

Momo had never felt anything like it before – thinking back, the only person she ever really lost was her father. But at least he had been hers to lose. 

She wasn’t sure when she fell asleep, but the rapid knocks on her door woke her up. If not for the fear of her neighbors filing a complaint, she would’ve let the person knock and knock until they got bored of it. 

A sigh left her lips after she pulled the door open. 

Nayeon looked at her with furrowed brows. 

Momo ran a hand through her hair. 

“What time is it?” 

The vet checked the simple, thin-strapped watch around her wrist. 

“Almost three.” 

Momo nodded. 

“Goodbye then.” The door had almost closed fully, but Nayeon’s hand pressed against it in time to push it back open. Momo frowned at it, then looked at the brunette – who was clad in workout clothes. It made her upset all over again; Nayeon couldn’t even come to see her without an alibi. “What, Nayeon? What do you want?” 

The hand pressed flat against her door slid down slowly, until it was back at her side. Momo waited for her to say something, whether it was a stupid throwaway joke or something that could make her feel better. 

Nayeon, for what was probably the first time, was completely silent as she stared back at her. 

Momo knew Sana had more than likely told her what their last conversation had been about. The second thing Nayeon asked would’ve been, _‘what did you say to her?’_

_“_ You know we slept together.” 

Momo felt something over her chest; it was heavy as it hovered there. It was new to her – Nayeon was making her experience things she had spent her life running from. 

“Momo.” Nayeon didn’t step closer, but it was clear that she wanted to. “I’m sorry.” 

“What are you sorry for? You shouldn’t be apologizing to me, none of this should be aimed at me.” She ran her hand through her hair again, usually she was so good at remaining stoic, indifferent – but Nayeon brought out different sides of her. For better or for worse. “I’m tired of saying this is a mistake, I’m tired of the fucking cycle. Don’t call. Don’t text.” She made sure Nayeon’s glossy brown eyes were still on hers. “You...” How could she word it? How could she say that Nayeon was putting pressure over her heart and she was starting to realize that the breathless feeling wasn’t good anymore? “We shouldn’t know each other.” 

Nayeon shook her head and tears slid down her face. They slid past the gold cross around her neck and then got lost at the start of her shirt. Momo’s eyes lingered on the cross. 

“I can’t not have you in my life.” She shook her head again, physically refusing the thought. “Don’t.” 

Momo grasped her door and prepared to close it again – it was simple enough. She was doing the wrong thing. They both were. 

She needed to fix it – she needed to not feel the added weight on her chest. 

Nayeon’s hands shot out to the side of her face. It was automatic, the way Momo had closed her eyes immediately and leaned into her lips. The pressure on her chest subsided – it just left; she could breathe again with no problems. She could breathe better than she had for the past thirteen hours, even with the scent of Nayeon’s body wash, and perfume, and shampoo and everything else that had been crushing her to think of before. 

Her lips were firmer than usual, Momo was pushed back inside, with the warmth of her apartment and Nayeon’s strong hands surrounding her. She was sure she heard the door shut, but she couldn’t _think_ – not when Nayeon was deepening the kiss faster than she normally would and she could only focus on touch and taste and smell. 

Momo could feel something wet against her face. Could taste the kiss go from sweet to salty. And as she dragged her hands down Nayeon’s sides – fingernails scraping her ribs, images of Geun doing the same thing a day before resurfacing – she could taste it turn bitter. 

Her lips slowed. Nayeon’s did as well, but she still left small kisses on her mouth. 

“You know I can’t do this, right?” Momo asked softly. She willed her hands not to reattach themselves to Nayeon’s body. Even as she felt the older girl’s tears flow again. “I think I feel more than I should when it comes to you. Sana telling me what she did – it was a wakeup call I needed.” 

Nayeon’s hands went around her waist and Momo felt herself being pulled into a familiar hold. She rested her head on the brunette’s shoulder and allowed her to hug her. 

“It just happened.” Nayeon’s voice was shaky; if she wasn’t holding her, the burning feeling would’ve settled over her heart again. “I feel a lot for you, too. I love-” 

“Don’t say it, please.” Momo hugged her back. “I don’t think I could handle you saying it to me if I would never be able to hear it again.” 

Nayeon’s grip tightened. Momo was reminded of her father, towards the end where all he could do was hug her weakly and ask her to show him the pictures she took. 

“For the record, I do.” Nayeon said gently, hands running over Momo’s hair. “I’m sorry.” 

Momo closed her eyes. 

“Me too.” 

Sana was silent over the next week, only talking when she was introducing Momo or making friendly conversation to keep up appearances in front of clients. 

She wouldn’t lie and say it didn’t hurt – she had managed to lose two friends at the same time after all. 

It was a Friday when the blonde had walked beside her on their way to their cars. 

Momo felt awkward. Enjoying silence had been something of the past by then, Nayeon ruined it for her. Silence meant she had time to think of her – and Momo didn’t want to. 

Sana pressed a button on her key as they got nearer. The noise that followed was the only sound around in the empty parking lot. Well, that and their footsteps against the pavement. 

Just when Momo was sure that they would go another day without actually speaking, Sana turned to her. 

“She told me everything, you know.” 

Momo didn’t pretend to play dumb. She just nodded once. 

“I thought she would’ve done that sooner.” 

Sana folded her arms across her chest. Momo couldn’t tell what she was feeling – the blonde had a better poker face than she thought. 

“You’re both stupid.” 

The summer’s heat was making her shirt cling to her. She just wanted to get in her car and be engulfed by the A.C. 

“I know.” 

Sana’s big eyes didn’t leave hers. Momo wasn’t sure she had ever seen her as serious, but she didn’t have time to memorize the look before Sana nodded her head as well. 

“Good then.” She adjusted the purse over her shoulder. “See you tomorrow, Momoring.” She smiled. And just like that, Sana got into her car and waved as she drove away. 

**Author's Note:**

> i have a like-hate relationship with this and i haven't been writing much, but recently someone made me feel shitty, and this was a good way to vent about it.  
> also! yournabi, if you see this - this is thanks to you as well  
> thanks for being here (: i appreciate it


End file.
